Anyway, that said, my main problem is that most of my confidence is an outright lie, and I know it, combined with a simple lack of girls I'm interested in right now. Hopefully, that will change in a few months when I go off to college (university, whatever).
I understand what you guys mean. I just hear about people feeling terrible about rejection, even in this very thread, and I can't help but think that I am inflicting these uber-negative feelings onto someone else.
I guess I should get over it. It is better than getting into a relationship that really wouldn't have worked from the beginning.
Girls have tried to put me down in just about every nice way you can think of. Trust me, being straight and honest is the least painful in the long run.
Girls have tried to put me down in just about every nice way you can think of. Trust me, being straight and honest is the least painful in the long run.
Hey, what does not kill you makes you stronger, right?
I also have no idea. I guessed it was a Q&A style love life advice show.
Everything I know about it comes from Adam Carolla speaking about it in retrospect -you're on the money, though, it's a call/write in show where the hosts do the whole Q&A thing, often with the presence/help of guests. The biggest difference is that they also provide medical advice from time to time too, since they had an actual doctor.
I can confirm that I know things about bodies and their chemistry, but I'm not technically an MD. I'm flattered that anyone at all thinks me qualified for such a show though; 99% of the time, I'm asking for dating advice, not giving it.
So I think I can probably now say I'm "seeing someone". In that like, we're talking and I really like him and he called me things like, "gorgeous" and "really interesting" and then said we should dress up as Disney characters and gave me back rubs and I'm running out of words because I'm stupid giddy, but he asked if we could go on real dates when he left this evening after biking across town to hang out with me.
And because of momentary loss of words and trying to play it cool I was like, "yeah we can casually date and get to know each other and see how it goes" But inside I am definitely like:
Hey, congrats. It's great when you find someone that makes you feel that way. That kind of natural high is awesome.
Thank you! Yeah, I'm a little calmer now so I think I can use my words.
He's an Art Education major with a really high GPA who's parents are loaded but he works to send himself to college out of personal responsibility/drive and he works at the local art museum. He really likes a lot of the same things I like and also seems really open to trying new things. He's physically fit and energetic and outdoorsy and sings along to Disney movies with me. I felt like I talked about such random crap but he was always enthusiastic and interested and listening intently... but he wasn't too quiet that I got bored and had to carry the conversation, ever. And he looks like Jon Snow with big blue eyes.
The only thing that concerns me is that he just recently broke up with his long-term-ish girlfriend and I really don't want to jump into it because of that, so I'm really trying to take a step back and be thought-out.
But seriously, attractive, confident, intelligent, active, driven, artistic, and a good listener? I don't know if I can pass this one up.
And because of momentary loss of words and trying to play it cool I was like, "yeah we can casually date and get to know each other and see how it goes"
Make sure you're not too coy about your feelings for him. He is a bloke, and blokes aren't very good at picking up on who happy you are to be with him.
Also don't worry about his recent break up too much. If you were the reason he broke up, worry like crazy, but if meeting him is unconnected you'll most likely be fine.
Facebook Girl hasn't talked to me in ten days despite expressing what seemed like a lot of interest in doing some stuff with me (she suggested dinner, I suggested a show, got a "Yeah, I'll get back to you with my schedule" like before). I've no idea why she stopped responding to my messages, but I'm still ostensibly meeting up with her at this music festival today.
I'm really ambivalent about this. On one hand, she's really cool. On the other, I've put up with this sort of "can't really say no" like, a billion times before, so if that's what she's doing, it's a bit annoying and more sad than anything else. So, I guess I'll see what happens today. I'm going to be with friends (and probably a bit drunk) so it should be alright either way.
Third option is that she somehow found this board and my username. That thought was initially terrifying, but then I mostly stopped caring.
Sounds like you already know what you need to do. Go enjoy whatever you're going to enjoy and don't dwell on it. As for someone finding your forum handle: So they found out you're a respected and liked member of some random corner of the internet with a variety of posts ranging from incredibly well informed and well communicated to a little unsure of yourself and sharing some problems looking to better figure some shit out. That's life, and if someone is turned away by that, then it's probably just an accelerated way to figure out that things were not going to work out.
And because of momentary loss of words and trying to play it cool I was like, "yeah we can casually date and get to know each other and see how it goes"
Make sure you're not too coy about your feelings for him. He is a bloke, and blokes aren't very good at picking up on who happy you are to be with him.
Also don't worry about his recent break up too much. If you were the reason he broke up, worry like crazy, but if meeting him is unconnected you'll most likely be fine.
That's actually part of my concern, because I met him a month or so before his breakup and he started hanging out with me more and more right as he was breaking up with her. So I'm not sure if it's connected or not.
As for feelings, I'm trying to not get too caught up in that right yet. I've only ever been legitimately in love with one person, and it got me all of nowhere. I'm typically extremely picky about dating and I've turned down some pretty awesome guys because I didn't believe I could develop the same feelings they expressed on the onset. I'm more open to this opportunity because so far it's not him trying to tell me he's in love with me or me really being head-over-heels for him, so for once we seem to kind of be at the same level at the same time.
That said I like to have SOME feelings before I get into a relationship with someone and right now it's just "this guy is really cool and attractive and I could really see this going somewhere". So it wasn't a lie or really trying to be coy, I really do want to be casual about it for a while to see where it goes.
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Anyway, that said, my main problem is that most of my confidence is an outright lie, and I know it, combined with a simple lack of girls I'm interested in right now. Hopefully, that will change in a few months when I go off to college (university, whatever).
I guess I should get over it. It is better than getting into a relationship that really wouldn't have worked from the beginning.
Oh hey, Wub.
I think a bunch of you are going to chuckle at it.
And because of momentary loss of words and trying to play it cool I was like, "yeah we can casually date and get to know each other and see how it goes"
But inside I am definitely like:
Yeah, I'm a little calmer now so I think I can use my words.
He's an Art Education major with a really high GPA who's parents are loaded but he works to send himself to college out of personal responsibility/drive and he works at the local art museum. He really likes a lot of the same things I like and also seems really open to trying new things. He's physically fit and energetic and outdoorsy and sings along to Disney movies with me. I felt like I talked about such random crap but he was always enthusiastic and interested and listening intently... but he wasn't too quiet that I got bored and had to carry the conversation, ever.
And he looks like Jon Snow with big blue eyes.
The only thing that concerns me is that he just recently broke up with his long-term-ish girlfriend and I really don't want to jump into it because of that, so I'm really trying to take a step back and be thought-out.
But seriously, attractive, confident, intelligent, active, driven, artistic, and a good listener? I don't know if I can pass this one up.
Also don't worry about his recent break up too much. If you were the reason he broke up, worry like crazy, but if meeting him is unconnected you'll most likely be fine.
I'm really ambivalent about this. On one hand, she's really cool. On the other, I've put up with this sort of "can't really say no" like, a billion times before, so if that's what she's doing, it's a bit annoying and more sad than anything else. So, I guess I'll see what happens today. I'm going to be with friends (and probably a bit drunk) so it should be alright either way.
Third option is that she somehow found this board and my username. That thought was initially terrifying, but then I mostly stopped caring.
As for feelings, I'm trying to not get too caught up in that right yet. I've only ever been legitimately in love with one person, and it got me all of nowhere. I'm typically extremely picky about dating and I've turned down some pretty awesome guys because I didn't believe I could develop the same feelings they expressed on the onset. I'm more open to this opportunity because so far it's not him trying to tell me he's in love with me or me really being head-over-heels for him, so for once we seem to kind of be at the same level at the same time.
That said I like to have SOME feelings before I get into a relationship with someone and right now it's just "this guy is really cool and attractive and I could really see this going somewhere". So it wasn't a lie or really trying to be coy, I really do want to be casual about it for a while to see where it goes.