I go on "dates" basically constantly. I live in NYC and I meet lots of people here. A good percentage of people I meet are female. Sometimes when I meet an interesting person, I arrange to see them again for lunch, biking, a movie, or whatever. It's so commonplace that it isn't even something to talk about, just like I wouldn't talk about what I ate for breakfast.
Yeah, that is definitely different. Our usage of the word "date" refers to a meeting of two people with the purpose of forming a romantic relationship. I meet up with interesting people on a one-on-one basis all the time, but adding that layer of romantic interest completely changes the dynamic/expectation...as well as potential anxiety.
Is this a conversation that is actually taking place right now? Does Scott actually not know the difference, or is this some transcendant trolling arahant shit that we unenlightened net bodhis just can't comprehend?
Actually I agree with Rubin on this... He is technically going out on dates if he is hanging with other single ladies and those hang out's involve some sort of evaluation as to whether he would like to continue seeing them and progress into a relationship.
(whether they know it or not) It's a casual date :-p
Let's say I meet up with someone, and it doesn't qualify as a date by your definition. Then I meet them again another time, and there is kissing! Does that first meeting retroactively become a date?
Romance is something that you discover after you know a person well. How can you have strong feelings for someone who you only had one conversation with on the subway or Internets? Having those kinds of feelings and thinking a date is somehow magically different from another kind of meeting is the cause of your anxiety and your problems.
Let's say I meet up with someone, and it doesn't qualify as a date by your definition. Then I meet them again another time, and there is kissing! Does that first meeting retroactively become a date?
Romance is something that you discover after you know a person well. How can you have strong feelings for someone who you only had one conversation with on the subway or Internets? Having those kinds of feelings and thinking a date is somehow magically different from another kind of meeting is the cause of your anxiety and your problems.
The fact that you're ignorant of a different social dynamic/model than the one you're comfortable with doesn't make it not exist. There is both emergent romance and "assisted" romance and both are valid. The latter is more anxiety prone, sure.
Most of my dating was a result of match.com, which worked well for me at the age I was and the place in my life I was in. Not everybody has a huge metro social circle.
That being said a lot of people like to frame the meeting, as to not lead them on. A person looking for friends might want to make sure the people they are meeting know that they are just looking for just friends and definitely not interested in romantic happenings, so defining a meeting can have it's uses. Otherwise DRAMA!
I will say I have romantically kissed seven females in my life, and leave it at that, because we are swiftly approaching the territory of "not your business." And it has nothing to do with my original point about there being no excuse for standing someone up.
Romance is something that you discover after you know a person well. How can you have strong feelings for someone who you only had one conversation with on the subway or Internets? Having those kinds of feelings and thinking a date is somehow magically different from another kind of meeting is the cause of your anxiety and your problems.
Funny how this can work out sometimes, actually - my girlfriend and I met at a party, where we had one extensive conversation that lasted the night and eventually led to my apartment. By the end of that night, we both knew this was going places. 6 months and going strong.
-EDIT- The tl;dr I suppose is that sometimes, if the dynamic is right, one good conversation is all it takes.
Romance is something that you discover after you know a person well. How can you have strong feelings for someone who you only had one conversation with on the subway or Internets? Having those kinds of feelings and thinking a date is somehow magically different from another kind of meeting is the cause of your anxiety and your problems.
Funny how this can work out sometimes, actually - my girlfriend and I met at a party, where we had one extensive conversation that lasted the night and eventually led to my apartment. By the end of that night, we both knew this was going places. 6 months and going strong.
-EDIT- The tl;dr I suppose is that sometimes, if the dynamic is right, one good conversation is all it takes.
Yeah I know, not long in the grand scheme of things, but we're going pretty strong and our dynamic has been good so far for minor spats and such. I actually just met her family over dinner last night and it was *delightful!* So yeah, I have high hopes, thanks.
Yeah I know, not long in the grand scheme of things, but we're going pretty strong and our dynamic has been good so far for minor spats and such. I actually just met her family over dinner last night and it was *delightful!* So yeah, I have high hopes, thanks.
Glad to hear that's going well. I actually never had any idea who she was at all, so it's nice to hear that. XD
If it means anything, Scott has shown up with cute girls I didn't know a handful of times. They were cool, and I don't really care or know their relationship status, but I would hang out with them again. I don't pest him about dating because it is not my business, but I'm just saying, Rubin is not lonely.
If you want "game" ask Chase Gordon. If you want to make friends in NYC, follow this four step plan.
1) See a person social currency, for example a GoPro camera. 2) Talk to about social currency with the person. "Hey. Shooting a movie?" 3) Friend on Twitter/Facebook/etc. using your smart phones. "What's your email?" 4) Follow up using the Internet. "Hey, I'm the guy from the subway. We talked GoPro cameras." 5) ... 6) Profit.
Also, I do not do this to get ladies, as that has never been my goal. I just try to expand the base and connect the geeky folk. Talked to a dude about his bicycle yesterday. He was boring. Not everyone doing something cool is cool.
Comments
(whether they know it or not) It's a casual date :-p
Romance is something that you discover after you know a person well. How can you have strong feelings for someone who you only had one conversation with on the subway or Internets? Having those kinds of feelings and thinking a date is somehow magically different from another kind of meeting is the cause of your anxiety and your problems.
How many girlfriends have you had, Scott? I'm just curious.
Most of my dating was a result of match.com, which worked well for me at the age I was and the place in my life I was in. Not everybody has a huge metro social circle.
Abandon_Thread.gif
Next discussion.
George, it's good to hear that it was on accident. Is there a follow up make up date?
-EDIT- The tl;dr I suppose is that sometimes, if the dynamic is right, one good conversation is all it takes.
Seriously though, good luck.
http://www.maletofemaleratio.com/wiki/new_york-ny/default.htm
1) See a person social currency, for example a GoPro camera.
2) Talk to about social currency with the person. "Hey. Shooting a movie?"
3) Friend on Twitter/Facebook/etc. using your smart phones. "What's your email?"
4) Follow up using the Internet. "Hey, I'm the guy from the subway. We talked GoPro cameras."
5) ...
6) Profit.
Also, I do not do this to get ladies, as that has never been my goal. I just try to expand the base and connect the geeky folk. Talked to a dude about his bicycle yesterday. He was boring. Not everyone doing something cool is cool.