Seriously though, I can't comfortably be friends with a dude who can only interpret hugs and other forms of affection in a sexual way. I think that says a lot about a person and how he views the opposite sex.
This. I've had this problem before. But often it also reflects that said anti-hugger isn't very comfortable with themselves.
I also frequently kiss my platonic friends on the cheek. To me, it's no big deal. It weirds me out when people think it's OMG SCANDALOUS.
Well there is a plethora of reasons why an individual may not be comfortable with touching, some of which may be completely out of their control or entrenched in their personal history. Sometimes it's harder to hold it against them, depending.
Just clarifying that I was only referring to people who cannot (or will not) distinguish platonic physical affection from sexual, not to all people who take issue with being touched.
I was actually talking about the same thing you were, in most cases. I understand there are people who have issues with contact, but for the most part people who can't distinguish platonic affection and sexual affection tend to be uncomfortable with themselves as people as well, from what I can tell. Or uncomfortable with their friends. Which... if that's the case, why are they friends?
There's a difference between a friendly kiss, a cordial hug, and cuddling. Some are using these as interchangeable concepts in this thread but they are discrete for many.
I'm relatively comfortable with myself. The feeling that binds me to most of my friends are general camaraderie and respect. Those are better communicated (from my perspective) by certain other interactions. My closest friends tend to be people I have a high degree of general fellowship with. As another example, I felt closer to my grandfather not when he hugged me as a little kid, but when he shook my hand as an adult.
Obviously this varies person to person, situation to situation, etc.
Yeah pretty much there's so many different contexts and everything that it really does vary a lot. Cuddling to some people is nothing while hugging to others could be a huge thing.
Yeah pretty much there's so many different contexts and everything that it really does vary a lot. Cuddling to some people is nothing while hugging to others could be a huge thing.
There is a hell of a lot of generalization and oversimplification being used to judge hypothetical people right now. Not that it isn't par for the course.
I'm pretty sure Mike meant he appreciated Churba's reference to the fact that Yosho said in the interview that he was pretty straight but would be willing to "help a brother out" in an orgy.
While I often find that what Jenna Marbles says is interesting and somewhat entertaining, there is just something about her that rubs me the wrong way. I really can't explain it; she just does.
Just had what seems like the last conversation with my Ex. I split it off because, while I still loved her, I no longer felt like we were compatible and it wasn't going to work out in the long run. Unfortunately, I realized this while driving home after spending the day with her. When I got home, I texted her letting her know that I was thinking about things, and then called her to break it off. I felt at the time it wouldn't be fair to let it go on a second longer having decided what I had decided. The thing that is awful about this though is that she has been through so much terrible shit with her family situation this summer and I knew that breaking up with her was just going to be another bad blow on top of it all. I told her how I still cared a lot about her offered to still be there for her as a friend if she needed it.
All my friends and family said I did the right thing, that I'd been exceptionally supportive and good to her the whole time we were together, and that soon she'd recognize that it was very evident how much I cared about her. She doesn't see it that way, though. She is extremely angry with me, believes I've been dishonest somehow, and that I betrayed her trust that I'd "never hurt" her. I've been really upset the last few days knowing how I've made her feel, but I also don't know what else I could have done. At a certain point, my feelings have to matter too. However, with her very small support network and low self-esteem, she truly feels like she has no one anymore who cares about her now that I'm "gone."
I don't know if I've done everything wrong or if I've done everything I could. It truly hurt me to have to hurt her at a time like this, but no matter how many other ways I slice it, having done anything else seems like it would have been hugely dishonest. I understand how losing a friend is a necessary risk of breaking up, but I'm extremely upset by it happening even though there wasn't really another option in terms of staying true to my own happiness. In the end, I still feel like a scumbag and don't even know if I should or not.
You did what you could. I've been in that situation as well, ending it with a somebody troubled who doesn't have anyone else to help them. It's a situation that's bound to be full of fear, anger, and self-loathing. There isn't anything you can do about it even if it feels like you could do more. Her well-being isn't your responsibility.
You did what you could. I've been in that situation as well, ending it with a somebody troubled who doesn't have anyone else to help them. It's a situation that's bound to be full of fear, anger, and self-loathing. There isn't anything you can do about it even if it feels like you could do more. Her well-being isn't your responsibility.
This is both very true and very heart-rending. Some people are beyond your capacity to help. Sometimes you love someone like that. Shit sucks - but that's why you've got friends to talk to.
Heart-rending is the phrase for it. Realizing that I was powerless to help while watching a woman I love hit bottom (and I mean rock-fucking-bottom) is by far the most pain I've ever been through. She's okay now, though, and despite breaking off contact for some time we are friends again. Don't lose hope no matter how bleak it gets.
For what it's worth, the only thing harder than ending it was lying to both of us and stringing it along.
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I also frequently kiss my platonic friends on the cheek. To me, it's no big deal. It weirds me out when people think it's OMG SCANDALOUS.
Just clarifying that I was only referring to people who cannot (or will not) distinguish platonic physical affection from sexual, not to all people who take issue with being touched.
Or uncomfortable with their friends. Which... if that's the case, why are they friends?
Obviously this varies person to person, situation to situation, etc.
This sounds strangely familiar...
All my friends and family said I did the right thing, that I'd been exceptionally supportive and good to her the whole time we were together, and that soon she'd recognize that it was very evident how much I cared about her. She doesn't see it that way, though. She is extremely angry with me, believes I've been dishonest somehow, and that I betrayed her trust that I'd "never hurt" her. I've been really upset the last few days knowing how I've made her feel, but I also don't know what else I could have done. At a certain point, my feelings have to matter too. However, with her very small support network and low self-esteem, she truly feels like she has no one anymore who cares about her now that I'm "gone."
I don't know if I've done everything wrong or if I've done everything I could. It truly hurt me to have to hurt her at a time like this, but no matter how many other ways I slice it, having done anything else seems like it would have been hugely dishonest. I understand how losing a friend is a necessary risk of breaking up, but I'm extremely upset by it happening even though there wasn't really another option in terms of staying true to my own happiness. In the end, I still feel like a scumbag and don't even know if I should or not.
For what it's worth, the only thing harder than ending it was lying to both of us and stringing it along.