The crazy was entertaining as it lasted. If it effected your sane girlfriend enough to do this, I think a restraining order and closure for crazy ex is super necessary.
I am asking for details because I don't believe her stories.
Looks like Chemist is more sane than I, she is cutting her losses and ending the relationship.
Dude, you just lost a cool girl over stupid drama. Time for some real talk.
Look, it doesn't matter if Crazy's stories are real or not. The fact of the matter is that, regardless of whatever she says or how she can "justify" her actions, you are still letting her interfere with your life by engaging her at all. If your Chemist shorty broke things off because you keep talking to Crazy about a possible "contagion," or EVEN to find out whether her "stories" (which, by your own discovery and admission, have previously been out-and-out lies), congratulations! The only thing you have been infected with is more crazy.
You need to step back and realize that any stories she is telling, regardless of their truth value, are being told in an attempt to manipulate you. She can manipulate you like this because you're letting your meatwants get in the way of logic. Let's fix that, and pretend this is a science experiment:
We take it as axiomatic that you want partner to be trustworthy, as I feel this is pretty essential to any adult relationship. Your hypothesis is that your partner is indeed trustworthy. But then, all the data you gather shows that your partner is, in fact, a fucked-up and possibly psychotic liar.
Now, to reject or accept our hypothesis:
Here's what your meat wants: "Yo, I need to gather more data, and while I'm doing that maybe I will get laid or have some really intense feelings. And then I can make a better decision later!" [NOTE: Getting laid and having feelings are, per biologic imperative, things Meat will make VERY BAD CHOICES FOR, but only if you let it.]
HERE IS WHAT SCIENCE WILLS: "Yo, I have a lot of data saying this girl is a psychotic lying bitch, and my sample size is SO BIG that I can be relatively sure that my hypothesis should be rejected. QED, I should kick her to the curb and get a restraining order. Then, I should go have sex and feelings all goddamned weekend with this cool, stable, smart girl I almost lost."
tl;dr: If you lost a relationship over seeking answers from this crazy girl, you need to realize that merely talking to her is still hurting you. Call Chemist, make amends, and tell her you're going to cut off contact and talk to a lawyer about a restraining order. Follow through on that, too. Be like the cool Don Draper Dad you are and MOVE FORWARD.
Chemist is back. We are working on safety-based solutions. First one is that her car no longer comes to my house.
Friday night I pick her up at her place and bring her back to mine for the weekend.
I expect that once her stuff is gone from my home the crazy will leave me alone. I might have to figure out something that will make her feel like she got one over on me. Most crazies will leave satisfied if they feel they got over on the other party.
While crazy still wants me to meet with her privately there is no way that will happen. Crazy is supposed to come by next week and get her stuff. Once stuff is gone crazy has zero vectors into my life and if she tries to make contact restraining order will be acquired.
It is a prepaid legal service where you get to talk to attorneys for answers. It's kind of like a legal insurance policy as well.
All the reviews I have found focus on the MLM way the product is sold and not whether the product is worth the cost.
I figure some questions I have do not need a $300 lawyer to answer while others do. So I plan on using this in conjunction with a real lawyer (local) to deal with the crazy in my life.
Oh yes, I have blocked all modes of contact between her and I except email. I do not think she will use email because she now knows the originating IP is stored in the header.
It is a prepaid legal service where you get to talk to attorneys for answers. It's kind of like a legal insurance policy as well.
All the reviews I have found focus on the MLM way the product is sold and not whether the product is worth the cost.
I figure some questions I have do not need a $300 lawyer to answer while others do. So I plan on using this in conjunction with a real lawyer (local) to deal with the crazy in my life.
Oh yes, I have blocked all modes of contact between her and I except email. I do not think she will use email because she now knows the originating IP is stored in the header.
You seem to have some misunderstandings about email headers. All of the information in email headers can be forged. I can send you an email that looks like the obama@whitehouse.gov sent it from Google's IP.
Heteronormativity is killing pretty much everything good about gay culture. All that stuff about having things to teach straight people? Yeah, all gone out the window once we start taking the male/female nuclear family as a model for our own relationships.
Well to add some relevant OC to this thread, my girlfriend is moving back to South Korea in July, is busy as hell meeting with all her other friends from college before leaving, and has to pack and find someone to sublet her room in Roosevelt Island which is probably impossible. So I won't get much chance to see her before she leaves, and there's no current plans for her to return anytime soon. (And I have no plans to live out there anytime soon BTW.)
So I'm kinda bummed about that; I think we're pretty-much at the end of our run now.
Heteronormativity is killing pretty much everything good about gay culture. All that stuff about having things to teach straight people? Yeah, all gone out the window once we start taking the male/female nuclear family as a model for our own relationships.
I'm glad our peer group to the bold choice to express our equality through being irrationally uncommunicative and prudish.
This is getting bad. I just found a bounce message in my email for a message that looks like it was sent from me to her and is threatening in nature.
I think someone is trying to set me up.
I don't think she knows I got the bounce message but it appears that she is using some online texting apps and putting my email as the sender and her number as the recipient.
Yeah, this is one hundred per fucking cent not a good sign. I'm not going to give specific advice - I'd leave that up to those with more US legal and general tech knowledge than me - but you really have to do something about this, probably get the authorities involved. If things are going in this general direction, I'd think that it can really have some serious implications, and I don't think you want to be a step behind, here.
I sent a message to the website's abuse email informing them of this abuse and asking for information on other messages that are using my email as the sender.
I personally err on the side of filing police reports. I get the sense that having filed them first, well in advance of any crap she might pull later, would be useful. I am not a lawyer, and this is not legal advice.
Well, a good start might be printing out that threatening email (and maybe a few other crazy ones) and taking it to the police station.
Police report doesn't mean you're expecting the cops to take action. The cops could probably figure out what needs to be filed. You don't have to tell them what offense occurred in order to file a report. Basically, "hey, this lady I dated is getting crazy and I'm starting to feel like she might do something harmful" should be enough to get something started, even if it is just filing a form that shows you had a concern.
The lawyer will probably have a good idea about what you should present to the police.
Comments
Look, it doesn't matter if Crazy's stories are real or not. The fact of the matter is that, regardless of whatever she says or how she can "justify" her actions, you are still letting her interfere with your life by engaging her at all. If your Chemist shorty broke things off because you keep talking to Crazy about a possible "contagion," or EVEN to find out whether her "stories" (which, by your own discovery and admission, have previously been out-and-out lies), congratulations! The only thing you have been infected with is more crazy.
You need to step back and realize that any stories she is telling, regardless of their truth value, are being told in an attempt to manipulate you. She can manipulate you like this because you're letting your meatwants get in the way of logic. Let's fix that, and pretend this is a science experiment:
We take it as axiomatic that you want partner to be trustworthy, as I feel this is pretty essential to any adult relationship. Your hypothesis is that your partner is indeed trustworthy. But then, all the data you gather shows that your partner is, in fact, a fucked-up and possibly psychotic liar.
Now, to reject or accept our hypothesis:
Here's what your meat wants: "Yo, I need to gather more data, and while I'm doing that maybe I will get laid or have some really intense feelings. And then I can make a better decision later!" [NOTE: Getting laid and having feelings are, per biologic imperative, things Meat will make VERY BAD CHOICES FOR, but only if you let it.]
HERE IS WHAT SCIENCE WILLS: "Yo, I have a lot of data saying this girl is a psychotic lying bitch, and my sample size is SO BIG that I can be relatively sure that my hypothesis should be rejected. QED, I should kick her to the curb and get a restraining order. Then, I should go have sex and feelings all goddamned weekend with this cool, stable, smart girl I almost lost."
tl;dr: If you lost a relationship over seeking answers from this crazy girl, you need to realize that merely talking to her is still hurting you. Call Chemist, make amends, and tell her you're going to cut off contact and talk to a lawyer about a restraining order. Follow through on that, too. Be like the cool Don Draper Dad you are and MOVE FORWARD.
I'm worried for you, Steve.
Friday night I pick her up at her place and bring her back to mine for the weekend.
I expect that once her stuff is gone from my home the crazy will leave me alone. I might have to figure out something that will make her feel like she got one over on me. Most crazies will leave satisfied if they feel they got over on the other party.
While crazy still wants me to meet with her privately there is no way that will happen. Crazy is supposed to come by next week and get her stuff. Once stuff is gone crazy has zero vectors into my life and if she tries to make contact restraining order will be acquired.
She pretty much threatened to be a stalker.
I also puts call in to a lawyer to find out what I need to do about this.
It is a prepaid legal service where you get to talk to attorneys for answers. It's kind of like a legal insurance policy as well.
All the reviews I have found focus on the MLM way the product is sold and not whether the product is worth the cost.
I figure some questions I have do not need a $300 lawyer to answer while others do. So I plan on using this in conjunction with a real lawyer (local) to deal with the crazy in my life.
Oh yes, I have blocked all modes of contact between her and I except email. I do not think she will use email because she now knows the originating IP is stored in the header.
So I'm kinda bummed about that; I think we're pretty-much at the end of our run now.
I think someone is trying to set me up.
I don't think she knows I got the bounce message but it appears that she is using some online texting apps and putting my email as the sender and her number as the recipient.
Police report doesn't mean you're expecting the cops to take action. The cops could probably figure out what needs to be filed. You don't have to tell them what offense occurred in order to file a report. Basically, "hey, this lady I dated is getting crazy and I'm starting to feel like she might do something harmful" should be enough to get something started, even if it is just filing a form that shows you had a concern.
The lawyer will probably have a good idea about what you should present to the police.
They will handle the 30 day 'come get your shit' letter end of things.