I also disagreed with all of the people calling him an idiot and telling him to dump his girlfriend. His relationsihp sounds fine to me as long as everybody is talking about what they want. You are still conflating the therapy advice with the relationship advice. (You also seem to have ignored the part about fucking up his life, which is another possible outcome of untreated depression. Not just suicide.)
I also disagreed with all of the people calling him an idiot and telling him to dump his girlfriend. His relationsihp sounds fine to me as long as everybody is talking about what they want. You are still conflating the therapy advice with the relationship advice. (You also seem to have ignored the part about fucking up his life, which is another possible outcome of untreated depression. Not just suicide.)
Axel, I think all the people in this thread were trying to help you, in their own different ways; depression is serious business.
Umm...Maybe. But I would argue some people don't care about helping me, more they dislike hearing me making decisions that they think are stupid.
As someone who has spent a lot of time reading the forums and not posting very much, this is what I have observed: This kind of thing can happen in any thread, no matter what the discussion is about. If someone posts an opinion or statement or whatnot that certain people think is "dumb," then a flamewar will likely follow. There are many times I don't post because I'm afraid someone will call me out on it if I don't word it just right (yes, I'm a pansy). But if that ever does happen, I will remember that its just normal.
Anyway, I don't think anybody was trying to say that you're dumb, I think its more that they can't stand to see a situation like that happen and not say anything. Ok I'll stop posting on this topic now, I don't want to look like a jerk anymore. ._.
As someone who has spent a lot of time reading the forums and not posting very much, this is what I have observed: This kind of thing can happen in any thread, no matter what the discussion is about. If someone posts an opinion or statement or whatnot that certain people think is "dumb," then a flamewar will likely follow. There are many times I don't post because I'm afraid someone will call me out on it if I don't word it just right (yes, I'm a pansy). But if that ever does happen, I will remember that its just normal.
Would totally agree with you there. One of the reasons I've not been so active is this that reaction to some comments. That and I feel at some points discussions boil down to 'Im right 'cus I'm right', 'Your stupid because you don't agree with me' or just two groups having a proxy argument. It's like threads like this become Korea. Anyway I shall now go back to hiding under my safety blanket.
I'm in a really good relationship with a girl I've been friends with since 2008. We've been dating for 8 months and have run into very few, very little snags that were easily fixed. As of right now, we've got a distance between us for three months, and it's taking a bit of a toll, but with the magic of the internets and cell phones it's like we're never alone. Come August, distance will no longer be any sort of problem. So everything is great on my end.
Personally, it would make me nervous dating someone who I felt I would destroy if I ever broke up with them. It's a lot of responsibility to shoulder.
This is the only reason it was hard to break up with my first girlfriend. I knew that it would be devastating for her, but I also knew it had to happen or it would just get worse along the way. Luckily she was strong enough to bounce back and we still talk.
On another note, I agree with pretty much everything Luke has been saying. I've seen Axel's posts on here for a while now, and I think it's premature to be suggesting that he has clinical depression and should get treatment. Just personally, Axel reminds me a LOT of how I was when I was that age. Due to certain circumstances of the way I was raised, it took me a lot longer to learn how to socialize and deal with emotions than most of my peers. I made a lot of mistakes and got depressed often. Even got panic attacks and thought about suicide at times. That doesn't mean that I had a medical problem, cause I didn't, I was just really slow at picking it up. But I worked at it and got the help of friends to guide me down the right path. And now, life just keeps getting better every day.
Breaking up with my first girlfriend was rough. I probably did a shitty job at breaking up with her, but 3 years later she still doesn't respect my wishes that I not talk to here anymore.
Luke, it's not as simple as being an "idiot" or "not-an-idiot". Intelligent people - of which I'd say that Axel is one - are entirely capable of suicide.
Of course not. I was being flippant. But flippant is what Axel needs right now. He needs to know that if he makes a mistake with this girl, it isn't anything that should spark off suicidal thoughts, nor is it something that will need medication or therapy. It'll be something he'll look back on in a few years time and feel like an idiot like I have done with about 50% of my past relationships. And, to be honest, how I feel about my current lack of relationships.
You are still conflating the therapy advice with the relationship advice.
Only because it was coming up time and time again in the dating thread.
(You also seem to have ignored the part about fucking up his life, which is another possible outcome of untreated depression. Not just suicide.)
I ignored it because I didn't have Axel's own words to counter it. If Axel can tell any stories where he has ever fucked up his life before, because of depression or despite his depression, I'll take it as a serious point. But I don't see it. Axel has a great life at the moment. He's studying what he wants at the college he wants, seems to be content with how things are going, and has a girlfriend who obviously cares enough about him not to dump him on the spot with no warning. I wish my life had always been so good!
To add a dash of humor to this thread. Twenty years of marriage have allowed Dina and I to have a telepathic humor of sorts. While walking with her Wednesday morning to her class, we came across a group of religious protesters on a sidewalk across from the college. One of them yelled at Dina "What will happen to you if Christ isn't your savior?" She turned to me and said "Well sweetie, you're the Zen Buddhist, maybe you can tell me." We laughed and kept walking.
In response to YET ANOTHER flame war started because of me, sorry I post things. XD
However, people need to know that I'm all right. I have strong reactions to things, but it's in my nature. I have never hurt myself or screwed up my life because of it. The stress of all this is starting to dissipate, and I find myself becoming more at ease with the idea that this relationship might not last forever. I'm not happy about it, but thinking about the future is making me less stressed out. I really think I'm gonna be okay, and while I could possibly use medication or therapy, it really isn't relevant to this particular topic.
And to the people who posted positive dating stories on the last page, kudos!
Well the advances by the Sultan Mehmed II was a massive factor in its 'works'. This was coupled with the important position of the city with regards to trade it is no wonder that it did eventually 'get the works'. To say nothing of its cultural, social and religious importance.
Well the advances by the Sultan Mehmed II was a massive factor in its 'works'. This was coupled with the important position of the city with regards to trade it is no wonder that it did eventually 'get the works'. To say nothing of its cultural, social and religious importance.
Thanks for that. I appreciate the reminder , I did take European History back in 10th grade, it's been a while.
In response to YET ANOTHER flame war started because of me, sorry I post things. XD
We like flame wars. Don't worry about it.
However, people need to know that I'm all right. I have strong reactions to things, but it's in my nature. I have never hurt myself or screwed up my life because of it. The stress of all this is starting to dissipate, and I find myself becoming more at ease with the idea that this relationship might not last forever.
Axel, consider this a sea of conflicting advice from people with various life experiences. Do with it what you will. Someone here has got to have good advice. ;^)
In response to YET ANOTHER flame war started because of me, sorry I post things. XD
Don't let them get to you. ~_^
However, people need to know that I'm all right. I have strong reactions to things, but it's in my nature. I have never hurt myself or screwed up my life because of it. The stress of all this is starting to dissipate, and I find myself becoming more at ease with the idea that this relationship might not last forever. I'm not happy about it, but thinking about the future is making me less stressed out. I really think I'm gonna be okay, and while I could possibly use medication or therapy, it really isn't relevant to this particular topic.
OK everyone, see he's dealing with. We just saw heard from him when he first found out as was initially freaking out. We can all move on now, he's gonna be OK.
Words of comfort, you still have a longer relationship than I had with my last girlfriend. ~_^
In which case, it's REALLY annoying for girls when guys only want to be friendly to you if they think you might date them. I've had guys be sweet as can be until they find out I'm not romantically interested, and then turn around and literally completely ignore me.
OMG I hate that when that happens. Sometimes they can get mean.
In which case, it's REALLY annoying for girls when guys only want to be friendly to you if they think you might date them. I've had guys be sweet as can be until they find out I'm not romantically interested, and then turn around and literally completely ignore me.
OMG I hate that when that happens. Sometimes they can get mean.
As a guy, I make it a point not to be friends with other guys who do that. Especially when it involves girls that I'm friends with.
Yeah, Luke's advice was good. Several other people have good advice that just doesn't happen to be fully relevant to me. Several others have bad advice.
Comments
Anyway, I don't think anybody was trying to say that you're dumb, I think its more that they can't stand to see a situation like that happen and not say anything. Ok I'll stop posting on this topic now, I don't want to look like a jerk anymore. ._.
I'm in a really good relationship with a girl I've been friends with since 2008. We've been dating for 8 months and have run into very few, very little snags that were easily fixed. As of right now, we've got a distance between us for three months, and it's taking a bit of a toll, but with the magic of the internets and cell phones it's like we're never alone. Come August, distance will no longer be any sort of problem.
So everything is great on my end.
On another note, I agree with pretty much everything Luke has been saying. I've seen Axel's posts on here for a while now, and I think it's premature to be suggesting that he has clinical depression and should get treatment. Just personally, Axel reminds me a LOT of how I was when I was that age. Due to certain circumstances of the way I was raised, it took me a lot longer to learn how to socialize and deal with emotions than most of my peers. I made a lot of mistakes and got depressed often. Even got panic attacks and thought about suicide at times. That doesn't mean that I had a medical problem, cause I didn't, I was just really slow at picking it up. But I worked at it and got the help of friends to guide me down the right path. And now, life just keeps getting better every day.
Lesson: Sometimes other people are just crazy.
EDIT: Edited to better reflect reality.
However, people need to know that I'm all right. I have strong reactions to things, but it's in my nature. I have never hurt myself or screwed up my life because of it. The stress of all this is starting to dissipate, and I find myself becoming more at ease with the idea that this relationship might not last forever. I'm not happy about it, but thinking about the future is making me less stressed out. I really think I'm gonna be okay, and while I could possibly use medication or therapy, it really isn't relevant to this particular topic.
And to the people who posted positive dating stories on the last page, kudos!
Words of comfort, you still have a longer relationship than I had with my last girlfriend. ~_^