Boo-yah - I've been told multiple times in the past few days that I'm extraordinarily intelligent.
Fail - I've been told, every single time in conjuction with the above, that this is why I'm unhappy, and that it's the reason people don't like me that much - further, if I want to be happy or if I want people to like me, I should act like I'm far less intelligent.
Further fail - two of those times, part of the reason they said this was because I used the words "abhorrent" and "Paucity" in conversation, and another time, because I referred to Shakespeare.
Final fail - every single time this occurred with a different person, I said something about "Flowers for Algernon" reactions ranged from "See, that's exactly what I'm talking about" to "Err, Who is Algernon, and why are you buying him flowers?"
Well, if it's any consolation, people tell me I'm an idiot, and they still don't like me.
Booyah: Yesterday I felt on top of the world. Fail: Last night, I felt like I was stuck at the bottom of the sea. Booyah: This afternoon, I'm walking on sunshine!
further, if I want to be happy or if I want people to like me, I should act like I'm far less intelligent.
I know how that is. I had to deal with that shit all through school up until college. Back then I honestly wished I could be dumber, but today I'm glad to have what I got, even if it does cause a lot of people to be distant. I don't really have people telling me to act less intelligent anymore, but I can tell that they feel like there is a gap between us that they don't want to try to bridge.
Sometimes, I find that the best way to not have people downing on you for being too intelligent is just to talk on their level. You can still have intelligent opinions, just voice it in a way that they would understand. It takes practice, but I've gotten very good at learning to listen to a person for a while before opening up conversations myself, analyzing how they talk, and knowing how to respond to individual people in different ways. It's all very subtle, and I don't usually realize I'm doing it, but it's become a better and better strategy as I've gotten older.
...I've gotten very good at learning to listen to a person for a while before opening up conversations myself, analyzing how they talk, and knowing how to respond to individual people in different ways.
It's called active or empathatic listening. It's a very good skill to develop. Once you're good at listening, don't be afraid to try to teach someone something. Keep raising their level until you don't have to talk down to them.
...I've gotten very good at learning to listen to a person for a while before opening up conversations myself, analyzing how they talk, and knowing how to respond to individual people in different ways.
It's called active orempathatic listening.It's a very good skill to develop. Once you're good at listening, don't be afraid to try to teach someone something. Keep raising their level until you don't have to talk down to them.
I'm usually not afraid of teaching/telling people my opinion once we get to a certain point, but people generally don't give me the same degree of listening I do to them.
Boo-yah: Just had a really interesting walk in the Faroe Islands (look them up yourself). Fail: I was hungry when I set off at 4pm, and due to catching a bus in hurry I didn't eat. Now it's almost 7 hours (5 hours of walking) later and I'm almost dead of starvation.
It sounds as though you keep the company of simpletons.
Can't help that much for some of them, they're family. My friends tend to be more intelligent - Janke, for example, graduated First class(equivalent to the American Magna Cum Laude) with a mechanical engineering degree, Robert, the same, with an IT degree, Poh is an animator and autodidact, speaks a number of languages and is very knowlegable about art and literature - They're typical of the people I tend towards as friends. They don't necessarily need to be enormously educated - I've never been to university, and most of my tertiary education was simply gaining certifications in things I already knew how to do, so it would be hypocritical of me. Like Poh, I'm an autodidactic learner - but they need to show at least a decent level of intelligence and general knowledge.
The Crew ditches people who can't keep up with surprising speed and ferocity. ^_~
Well, if it's any consolation, people tell me I'm an idiot, and they still don't like me.
I'm not terribly concerned about people liking me to be honest - Far as I'm concerned, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who like me, And those who can fuck right off. The problem is that these people saying these things are family, and are rather harder to cut off.
I know how that is. I had to deal with that shit all through school up until college. Back then I honestly wished I could be dumber, but today I'm glad to have what I got, even if it does cause a lot of people to be distant. I don't really have people telling me to act less intelligent anymore, but I can tell that they feel like there is a gap between us that they don't want to try to bridge.
I had the reverse problem - Being intelligent actually caused me problems, because people expected me to solve their problems, and wouldn't do anything for themselves. I ended up just keeping it to myself, so that people solved their own problems, or at least tried to solve them, before they came to me - I call it the JayJay strategy, after a character in a Sci-fi short story I read a few months back.
Sometimes, I find that the best way to not have people downing on you for being too intelligent is just to talk on their level. You can still have intelligent opinions, just voice it in a way that they would understand. It takes practice, but I've gotten very good at learning to listen to a person for a while before opening up conversations myself, analysing how they talk, and knowing how to respond to individual people in different ways. It's all very subtle, and I don't usually realise I'm doing it, but it's become a better and better strategy as I've gotten older.
I try to do that - I think the lowest point was explaining basic evolution using candy and a liberal sprinkling of curses. The problem is that I even know what it is in the first place - for example, My mother thinks that I'm "Too Passionate and intense" in my skepticisim, because I don't just ignore people who are hocking alt-med shit, and "They have the right to their opinion, and their belief in it." - She thinks that it's a matter of opinion, rather than fact.
As for Empathetic listening - I'm very good at it. It's not the issue, but it was a good suggestion, thank you.
Fail: All of July is going to be hell. I've literally just returned from an exam, I got a paper due on the 5th, a math exam on the 13th, and two reports due on the 31st, though those are group work. Also, I got a small time job I'm trying to keep, gotta do all the house chores like mowing the lawn or watering the plants, especially now that my parents are on vacation. And in addition to that I am supposed to help my brother in law to build a fucking house! Laying bricks and shit...
Extra Fail: I was told today that I got another math exam on the 23rd. One I have failed before.
More Fail: There is so much shit going on I want to do got to put on the backburner. There is a new MTG set coming out which I'd love to try some cards from by playing it online, today is the beginning of free agency in the NHL and there would be a ton to discuss, and I got like 600 episodes of anime on my backlog. Plus I won't be much help for my scanlation group over this month.
Boo-Yah: I probably passed todays exam.
Mega-Boo-Yah: If I'm able to get through all of the university stuff I got on my plate, I only need a small, oral exam on a not so tough course. When I got that I am a Bachelor of Informatics!
Fail: Did not get my glasses yesterday as promised by my optician. What should have been a 7-10 day wait has turned into 22 days. I understand they where on back order, but they kept pushing the date back. "They'll be in next week... one more week... tomorrow... we're busy and need another day to get them ready..."
Boo-Yah: I now have a good excuse to leave early today! Ok it's not much of a boo-yah. I just don't want to continue being mad about this subject and need something positive.
Fail: About to embark on a 13-hour flight Boo-Yah: It's most of the way to Brisbane. Fail: Not quite Brisbane (Auckland), and there's a 24hr wait for the next flight. Boo-Yah: I'm at least staying in a hotel for that time.
Fail: With summer's late nights. Dinner has been pushed back to 10:30. Win: I now have no reservations about establishing an extra, full-sized meal for the afternoon. Any suggestions for a name?
Boo-Yah: My two coworkers sitting next to me are blasting Peter Cetera's "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" on their computer speakers in sync. So it's pretty much in stereo in our room.
Fail: My two coworkers sitting next to me are blasting Peter Cetera's "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" on their computer speakers in sync. So it's pretty much in stereo in our room & singing to it. (I'm singing to it as well.)
Fail: I'm one of those people who does horribly in hot weather, so I'll probably be close to miserable the whole time.
Community pools? Beach/lake/river trip? Museum and art gallery trips (air conditioned)? Sprinkler/slip-and-slide party? Marathon a show/anime/movie series in an air conditioned home (yours or a willing friend's/relative's place)? Sit and read/write/goof around on the Internet in an air conditioned home/coffee house? If you don't have a/c and are unable/unwilling to find "cool off ideas", then just sit naked in your house with a fan on you and play a game/read/good on the interwebs with some cold shower/bath breaks.
Fail: My travel schedule between now and Monday morning looked a bit like this...
Arrive in St. Johns in Newfoundland. Wait 4 hours at the airport. Fly to Halifax. Fly to Heathrow. Fly to Berlin, arriving Saturday afternoon.
I get to stay in Berlin for about 18 hours, but due to the fact I've sublet my apartment, I'll have to stay at a friend's place.
Fly back to Heathrow on Sunday morning. Wait 6 hours. Fly to Cape Town. Arrive 8am on Monday, go direct to a cruise ship... set sail for Germany.
Boo-Yah: I asked to be transferred to a direct flight from St. Johns to Heathrow for no extra cost, and the kind people at Air Canada agreed. This means about four extra hours waiting in airports, but I'd rather be on the ground, where I can stretch my legs and use free airport wifi than flying west, just to connect to a flight going back east.
Did this last night, and probably again today, but it's sadly one of those things you can only do for a hour before you start to feel weird from the chlorine.
Beach/lake/river trip?
Don't have the money (for gas).
Museum and art gallery trips (air conditioned)?
I'd be in and out in 15 minutes. They don't interest me.
Sprinkler/slip-and-slide party?
Also would require driving.
Marathon a show/anime/movie series in an air conditioned home (yours or a willing friend's/relative's place)? Sit and read/write/goof around on the Internet in an air conditioned home/coffee house?
Funny thing about Seattle is that home/apartment builders aren't required at all to install A/C, so they usually don't. Same goes with a lot of businesses.
If you don't have a/c and are unable/unwilling to find "cool off ideas", then just sit naked in your house with a fan on you and play a game/read/good on the interwebs with some cold shower/bath breaks.
That's about the best I can do. I'm just thankful that the humidity hasn't been too bad.
Comments
Fail: Last night, I felt like I was stuck at the bottom of the sea.
Booyah: This afternoon, I'm walking on sunshine!
It's been an odd few days and nights.
Fail: I was hungry when I set off at 4pm, and due to catching a bus in hurry I didn't eat. Now it's almost 7 hours (5 hours of walking) later and I'm almost dead of starvation.
They don't necessarily need to be enormously educated - I've never been to university, and most of my tertiary education was simply gaining certifications in things I already knew how to do, so it would be hypocritical of me. Like Poh, I'm an autodidactic learner - but they need to show at least a decent level of intelligence and general knowledge. Unless there is a compelling reason to keep someone around, the same happens within my group of friends - The only one to stay around so far is Nick's Fiancé, because A)She's marrying our mate, so we cut her some slack, as they're now a package deal and B)She is intelligent and focused, but the problem is that she's slow(as in, She can learn, but not quickly or easily, but she tries hard, and sticks at it), and only has a few narrow fields of knowledge. I can discuss complex developments in the fields of Medicine and Psychology with her, but if it shifts to, say, literature, politics or history, she's absolutely baffled. I'm not terribly concerned about people liking me to be honest - Far as I'm concerned, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who like me, And those who can fuck right off. The problem is that these people saying these things are family, and are rather harder to cut off. I had the reverse problem - Being intelligent actually caused me problems, because people expected me to solve their problems, and wouldn't do anything for themselves. I ended up just keeping it to myself, so that people solved their own problems, or at least tried to solve them, before they came to me - I call it the JayJay strategy, after a character in a Sci-fi short story I read a few months back. I try to do that - I think the lowest point was explaining basic evolution using candy and a liberal sprinkling of curses. The problem is that I even know what it is in the first place - for example, My mother thinks that I'm "Too Passionate and intense" in my skepticisim, because I don't just ignore people who are hocking alt-med shit, and "They have the right to their opinion, and their belief in it." - She thinks that it's a matter of opinion, rather than fact.
As for Empathetic listening - I'm very good at it. It's not the issue, but it was a good suggestion, thank you.
Fail: Convention center booked a Gun show on the Second floor....(all three days) Security nightmare will ensure.
Extra Fail: I was told today that I got another math exam on the 23rd. One I have failed before.
More Fail: There is so much shit going on I want to do got to put on the backburner. There is a new MTG set coming out which I'd love to try some cards from by playing it online, today is the beginning of free agency in the NHL and there would be a ton to discuss, and I got like 600 episodes of anime on my backlog. Plus I won't be much help for my scanlation group over this month.
Boo-Yah: I probably passed todays exam.
Mega-Boo-Yah: If I'm able to get through all of the university stuff I got on my plate, I only need a small, oral exam on a not so tough course. When I got that I am a Bachelor of Informatics!
Boo-Yah: I now have a good excuse to leave early today! Ok it's not much of a boo-yah. I just don't want to continue being mad about this subject and need something positive.
Boo-Yah: It's most of the way to Brisbane.
Fail: Not quite Brisbane (Auckland), and there's a 24hr wait for the next flight.
Boo-Yah: I'm at least staying in a hotel for that time.
Win: I now have no reservations about establishing an extra, full-sized meal for the afternoon. Any suggestions for a name?
Fail: I can kiss early nights goodbye.
Alternative Variants:
Linner
Dunch
Sunch
Bill
Elevenses?
Fail: Don't have a job yet. Also, it's hot at balls.
Fail: My two coworkers sitting next to me are blasting Peter Cetera's "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" on their computer speakers in sync. So it's pretty much in stereo in our room & singing to it. (I'm singing to it as well.)
Boo-yah: Cold shower "cuddling". ^_^
o.o!! Hey! I'm younger than you! Where's my designated cuddling partner?!
Fail: I'm one of those people who does horribly in hot weather, so I'll probably be close to miserable the whole time.
If you don't have a/c and are unable/unwilling to find "cool off ideas", then just sit naked in your house with a fan on you and play a game/read/good on the interwebs with some cold shower/bath breaks.
Arrive in St. Johns in Newfoundland. Wait 4 hours at the airport.
Fly to Halifax.
Fly to Heathrow.
Fly to Berlin, arriving Saturday afternoon.
I get to stay in Berlin for about 18 hours, but due to the fact I've sublet my apartment, I'll have to stay at a friend's place.
Fly back to Heathrow on Sunday morning.
Wait 6 hours.
Fly to Cape Town.
Arrive 8am on Monday, go direct to a cruise ship... set sail for Germany.
Boo-Yah: I asked to be transferred to a direct flight from St. Johns to Heathrow for no extra cost, and the kind people at Air Canada agreed. This means about four extra hours waiting in airports, but I'd rather be on the ground, where I can stretch my legs and use free airport wifi than flying west, just to connect to a flight going back east.