Viga, I'm really sorry to hear about your problems. Please believe me when I say that I know how badly this can hurt. Much like Joe, I understand that the pain is a very real and physical one. I've never tried to end it, but I've thought about it and hurt myself plenty to try and feel anything else at times. Please know that you're a valuable and beloved part of this community, and we really would miss you.
I have a lot of friends who've ended up in dire straits before finally seeking medical advice and getting a prescription for something. I actually count myself among them, and I have a few scars to prove it. If anyone is reading this who has considered medical attention but (like me) has thought that everyone must feel what they feel, or that their problem isn't that bad because they haven't had suicidal ideation yet, please go see a doctor.
I waited way too long, almost messed up a lot of what I'd been working for, and probably came within spitting (vomiting?) distance of a serious drinking problem. For all the side effects I've dealt with and all the weird flukes of SSRIs, my life has unequivocally improved a hundredfold after being medicated. I'm happy daily for the first time in who knows how long and I actually love waking up; a month ago I looked forward to something for the first time in literally years. There's absolutely no shame in correcting a chemical problem so that you can be the person you really are.
Meds help with depression tremendously. Most depressed patients who relapse after being treated do so because they stop/reduce their meds. It's a shame that there's a stigma on the medication because it WORKS.
Meds help with depression tremendously. Most depressed patients who relapse after being treated do so because they stop/reduce their meds. It's a shame that there's a stigma on the medication because it WORKS.
Speaking as somebody who is medicated on this stuff, I can vouch for that. I would be a mess without it.
I too am sick of new age bullshit saying that chemical therapy is inferior to emotional therapy. I take a pill in the morning, I feel better in the day. It works, and it's a Hell of a lot easier.
Even if in some situations willpower can theoretically overcome issues like this, you need a baseline. Meds remind you what a normal brain feels like. They remind you of what you're striving to get back to, and how great life is when you do.
Even if in some situations willpower can theoretically overcome issues like this, you need a baseline. Meds remind you what a normal brain feels like. They remind you of what you're striving to get back to, and how great life is when you do.
I think people need to be careful about what they try to treat with "willpower". Even very experienced sufferers of depression have gotten themselves in a lot of trouble weaning from meds.
I too am sick of new age bullshit saying that chemical therapy is inferior to emotional therapy. I take a pill in the morning, I feel better in the day. It works, and it's a Hell of a lot easier.
Neither is superior, both are important. Taking meds for depression exclusively is like taking painkillers for a broken back without going through physical therapy.
I too am sick of new age bullshit saying that chemical therapy is inferior to emotional therapy. I take a pill in the morning, I feel better in the day. It works, and it's a Hell of a lot easier.
Neither is superior, both are important. Taking meds for depression exclusively is like taking painkillers for a broken back without going through physical therapy.
It's not a clean analogy. There are chemical issues for which a pill is probably perfectly adequate without a therapist's input.
Thank you everyone. Today was another struggle, but I'm going on. I'm kinda scared of the side effects of meds. Can anyone tells me their experiences?
I was on a mood regulator for a long while, with a progressively increasing dosage. I didn't see too much of the effects while I was still suffering, the only side effect was decreased appetite. Eventually I went off it anyway. I did have something else, can't remember what, which was prescribed as an emergency option - if I was going off the deep end, I could take it and my body would calm down within 30 minutes. I had to use it a few times, and it was incredibly helpful for those time.
I'm sure others can share their experiences with anti-depressives, I was never on any of those.
For the first week of Lexapro, I was dizzy and extremely nauseous upon waking. Sensory input gets weirdly muted; it feels like your head is packed with Styrofoam. I also experienced bouts of body-racking jitters and an inability to focus.
After seven days, all that disappeared and now I only get side-effects after drinking (I limit it to one pint of beer or cocktail daily now). I also frequently have really weird, extremely vivid dreams, but those are more fun than anything else. Paradoxically for SSRIs, my sex drive is through the roof.
Like I said, there's an adjustment period, and then the bad stuff vanishes. I got pretty bad serotonin poisoning from Zoloft, but that's rare and you'll know if it happens; they'll switch your meds and you should be good.
Also, with regards to the sexual side effects of SSRIs on the male anatomy: I'm not quite sure how having next to zero refractory period and being able to...erm...perform for hours is a negative. I can see how anorgasmia would be, but my doctor actually told me that quite a lot of his male patients see the sexual "side effects" as a huge plus to their game. My doctor is a pretty awesome dude.
Thank you everyone. Today was another struggle, but I'm going on. I'm kinda scared of the side effects of meds. Can anyone tells me their experiences?
I've been on a mood stabilizer (initially perscribed as a medication for a neurological diagnosis which has an unclear amount of truth) for 5 or 6 years. The only problems I've had with it are incidents of seeing double for up to 2 hr, but usually only 30 min or so, and those mostly only happen during/immediately following dosage changes. It's a pain in the ass, but not too bad. It mostly means I can't read or people start freaking out about "why does Greg have an eyepatch?"
I haven't had problems with SSRIs. I know JTVH had some bad reactions, though.
It's heartening to see people actually talking about these things. It's easy to forget the whole world isn't fucking 4chan. Know that this internet acquaintance wishes you all well.
The first time I got medicated, it was no good. I had been seeing a therapist for a couple of weeks, but she wasn't an MD, so she referred me to a psychiatrist who gave me the ol' bootstraps and needing structure/discipline talk before prescribing Lexapro. Taking Lex took me from jelly-blob to productive worker ant to MANIC YAY OMG I'M DYING! (not literally, just anxiety) I became unable to drink coffee, since it would set off panic attacks. I dropped Lex, and sat in my obsidian box for a long while, but the anxiety stuck around.. for years. Panic attacks in car with unsympathetic family while on the highway not fun. So I was pretty scared off meds.
Then I read this great book, "Against Depression," in which I learned the physical reality of mental illness. The guy who wrote the book actually practices in Prov, so I called him asking for an appointment. He referred me to someone else, who, while not the perfect fit, has been pretty good for me. Additionally, my discovery of existentialism was such a relief after neo-calvinism, esp. since I had been surrounded by "depression == you need more jebus".
So I've been on Wellbutrin XL for a couple years now, and (other than $$, I had Really Bad experience with the generics) it's AWESOME. Sometimes I forget to take my meds for a while & feel myself slip -- but I'm a lot more familiar with my brain now, so I can usually see it coming and head it off.
Starting meds can be scary, so find things, places &/ people who bring you comfort. For me, it's a cold tile floor, or being read to, the presence of someone who understands mental illness, and can drive me to hospital if something goes wrong. Absolutely try to find the right med for you. When you start taking a new med, try to have a relaxed state of mind and have someone you trust around (this is advice someone gave me for trying acid, and it helped with Rx LOL). Try to take it easy -- the first three weeks can throw some curve balls -- and (at least initially) avoid drugs and booze, as they are typically counter-indicated. I can't take hormonal BC (along with coffee still) bc it fucks me up.
Something else which may/not help: I keep a daily log recording one thing I did well that day. I kept it short (to avoid shifting into negativity) & sometimes about the most trivial thing, to remind me that I am not a failure even on my worst days. Seriously, looking back, some days were like "I finally cashed that check!" or "I ate three meals." or "I remembered to take my meds today." And others were big deals, permanently changing a long standing bad habit, or dealing with an emotional response in a new way.
You are strong even on your weakest days & you can do this. Ganbare!
I'm gonna put this here because it deals with two people who are suffering from depression.
My girlfriend's mom seems to have completely lost it. She's a high-level copyright lawyer who started to brake down a couple weeks ago and was put into a mental hospital. Three days later she got out, but it seemed like being in the hospital didn't help at all. A few days later, while at home recovering, she got fired from her job, where she'd worked for about eight years. Ever since she's been yelling and throwing things at my girlfriend, threatening to not let her go back to school because they supposedly "can't afford it," which I have trouble believing given their financial status, but despite this won't even give her the tax information she needs to fill out the FAFSA. My girlfriend's father is estranged and there are no other close relatives to help with the situation, and the small support network of friends they have don't seem to be enough. And I'm not nearly knowledgable enough about their personal affairs to be in a position to help in the way I wish I could.
Both my girlfriend and her mom suffer from depression and, though it's been mostly under control the whole time I've known her, my gf admitted to me about having thoughts of self-harm throughout this whole mess. Her mother has threatened to kill herself a few times over the past weeks and would also drive off by herself for periods of between five minutes to two hours, refusing to say where she was going
Today her mom is finally seeing another therapist, but I don't know if it's really going to help anything, though I hope it does. It's just a big mess and I don't even know what I can do anymore. It feels totally out of my hands.
Thank you everyone. Today was another struggle, but I'm going on. I'm kinda scared of the side effects of meds. Can anyone tells me their experiences?
Biggest thing is to keep talking to your doc. Make sure you get a phone number where you can reach the doctor when you need to; there are probably going to be times when you need to call someone for support and you KNOW your doctor isn't going to judge you because he/she is there to help you for exactly that circumstance.
A good combination for you should make you feel more emotionally stable while still feeling normal feelings and feeling like yourself. If anything makes you feel physically sick (headaches, dizziness, nausea, etc), emotionally numb, or wildly mood swingy, you need to talk to the doc about it. Don't wait to see if it gets better unless you talk to the doctor and the doctor says there is an adjustment period. There are loads of meds to tweak brain chemistry, and tey won't all work well for everyone. Just make sure you have a doctor who will listen to you and adjust your meds when needed; you need someone who treats the patient instead of trying to fit the patient into a pre-existing box.
I was on Lexapro for about 9 months. I hated it. It didn't work for me at all. Anytime I forget to take a pill I'll get serious nausea and feel really hot. It may have helped me a little but I was also going to counseling which helped me a lot.
Rob, I'll have Skype access tomorrow by 3pm. Feel free to call or IM or whatever; it'd be better to chat about that sort of thing rather than me doing a very public infodump and just hoping it helps.
Less than a week into the new school year and everything is going awesome. I'm more creative and productive than I've been in years. This week alone I've accomplished the following:
1) Finally feel like I'm operating at full cognitive capacity 2) Working on PhD and research topics 3) Started developing a long term business plan to accompany my MBA 4) Hanging out with friends every night 5) Working on developing a regular workout plan to lose the rest of this weight. 6) Pretty much stopped drinking more than one drink daily.
I don't know that it will. The rebound from two drinks is so, so bad that I almost quit completely.
I started smoking again, though. I'm not sure if it's due to compensating for one unusable substance with another, or what, but if I start weightlifting and cycling, I'm going to have to promptly quit that, as well.
Rob, I'll have Skype access tomorrow by 3pm. Feel free to call or IM or whatever; it'd be better to chat about that sort of thing rather than me doing a very public infodump and just hoping it helps.
I'll most likely take you up on that. There's kinda some extra stuff on top of that that I didn't mention, and it would be good to get another opinion on it.
So I got meds. The Wellburtin XL's. I'm seeing a doc and I'm going to start taking it tomorrow.
I have to say, thanks again for telling me about your experience with pills. And thank you, for talking to me. I feel happier when I know I'm not alone in doing these things for the first time.
Hey, just letting you guys know it was nice to read about your own experiences with meds. I haven't been on them since I was in middle school, but things have been so bad for me lately that I've been thinking about going back. For me it's a hard decision to make, and well, it's just good to hear some shared stories.
Also, with regards to the sexual side effects of SSRIs on the male anatomy: I'm not quite sure how having next to zero refractory period and being able to...erm...perform for hours is a negative. I can see how anorgasmia would be, but my doctor actually told me that quite a lot of his male patients see the sexual "side effects" as a huge plus to their game. My doctor is a pretty awesome dude.
It has its issues. I think I've hurt a few girls' self-esteem in the past because of concern over whether I'm actually being satisfied, though I think the ability to go forever often makes up for that quite handily.
Anyways, I entered a bit of a depressive phase since I had that breakup last week. It was fairly textbook - no appetite, no motivation, not going outside, etc. I've been getting better over the last few days due to a diet of G Gundam and Initial D as well as excitement at the fall semester starting, so that's nice.
Also, with regards to the sexual side effects of SSRIs on the male anatomy: I'm not quite sure how having next to zero refractory period and being able to...erm...perform for hours is a negative. I can see how anorgasmia would be, but my doctor actually told me that quite a lot of his male patients see the sexual "side effects" as a huge plus to their game. My doctor is a pretty awesome dude.
It has its issues. I think I've hurt a few girls' self-esteem in the past because of concern over whether I'm actually being satisfied, though I think the ability to go forever often makes up for that quite handily.
Indeed. Also, if your partner is aware of your drug status, finishing you at all becomes a triumph rather than the end of a night.
So I got meds. The Wellburtin XL's. I'm seeing a doc and I'm going to start taking it tomorrow.
I have to say, thanks again for telling me about your experience with pills. And thank you, for talking to me. I feel happier when I know I'm not alone in doing these things for the first time.
Also, here's a relevant song.
I actually am on Wellbutrin myself, so take it from me; you are in good hands. I have been on this pill for years and have not had any negative side-effects.
That really doesn't mean much at all, though, because everyone's brain chemistry is different; it's like telling someone to buy 34 waist pants because they always fit you. Antidepressants are really just a matter of finding the correct drug for a specific person.
Comments
I have a lot of friends who've ended up in dire straits before finally seeking medical advice and getting a prescription for something. I actually count myself among them, and I have a few scars to prove it. If anyone is reading this who has considered medical attention but (like me) has thought that everyone must feel what they feel, or that their problem isn't that bad because they haven't had suicidal ideation yet, please go see a doctor.
I waited way too long, almost messed up a lot of what I'd been working for, and probably came within spitting (vomiting?) distance of a serious drinking problem. For all the side effects I've dealt with and all the weird flukes of SSRIs, my life has unequivocally improved a hundredfold after being medicated. I'm happy daily for the first time in who knows how long and I actually love waking up; a month ago I looked forward to something for the first time in literally years. There's absolutely no shame in correcting a chemical problem so that you can be the person you really are.
I'm sure others can share their experiences with anti-depressives, I was never on any of those.
After seven days, all that disappeared and now I only get side-effects after drinking (I limit it to one pint of beer or cocktail daily now). I also frequently have really weird, extremely vivid dreams, but those are more fun than anything else. Paradoxically for SSRIs, my sex drive is through the roof.
Like I said, there's an adjustment period, and then the bad stuff vanishes. I got pretty bad serotonin poisoning from Zoloft, but that's rare and you'll know if it happens; they'll switch your meds and you should be good.
Also, with regards to the sexual side effects of SSRIs on the male anatomy: I'm not quite sure how having next to zero refractory period and being able to...erm...perform for hours is a negative. I can see how anorgasmia would be, but my doctor actually told me that quite a lot of his male patients see the sexual "side effects" as a huge plus to their game. My doctor is a pretty awesome dude.
I haven't had problems with SSRIs. I know JTVH had some bad reactions, though.
Then I read this great book, "Against Depression," in which I learned the physical reality of mental illness. The guy who wrote the book actually practices in Prov, so I called him asking for an appointment. He referred me to someone else, who, while not the perfect fit, has been pretty good for me. Additionally, my discovery of existentialism was such a relief after neo-calvinism, esp. since I had been surrounded by "depression == you need more jebus".
So I've been on Wellbutrin XL for a couple years now, and (other than $$, I had Really Bad experience with the generics) it's AWESOME. Sometimes I forget to take my meds for a while & feel myself slip -- but I'm a lot more familiar with my brain now, so I can usually see it coming and head it off.
Starting meds can be scary, so find things, places &/ people who bring you comfort. For me, it's a cold tile floor, or being read to, the presence of someone who understands mental illness, and can drive me to hospital if something goes wrong. Absolutely try to find the right med for you. When you start taking a new med, try to have a relaxed state of mind and have someone you trust around (this is advice someone gave me for trying acid, and it helped with Rx LOL). Try to take it easy -- the first three weeks can throw some curve balls -- and (at least initially) avoid drugs and booze, as they are typically counter-indicated. I can't take hormonal BC (along with coffee still) bc it fucks me up.
Something else which may/not help: I keep a daily log recording one thing I did well that day. I kept it short (to avoid shifting into negativity) & sometimes about the most trivial thing, to remind me that I am not a failure even on my worst days. Seriously, looking back, some days were like "I finally cashed that check!" or "I ate three meals." or "I remembered to take my meds today." And others were big deals, permanently changing a long standing bad habit, or dealing with an emotional response in a new way.
You are strong even on your weakest days & you can do this. Ganbare!
edited for fucking grammar.
My girlfriend's mom seems to have completely lost it. She's a high-level copyright lawyer who started to brake down a couple weeks ago and was put into a mental hospital. Three days later she got out, but it seemed like being in the hospital didn't help at all. A few days later, while at home recovering, she got fired from her job, where she'd worked for about eight years. Ever since she's been yelling and throwing things at my girlfriend, threatening to not let her go back to school because they supposedly "can't afford it," which I have trouble believing given their financial status, but despite this won't even give her the tax information she needs to fill out the FAFSA. My girlfriend's father is estranged and there are no other close relatives to help with the situation, and the small support network of friends they have don't seem to be enough. And I'm not nearly knowledgable enough about their personal affairs to be in a position to help in the way I wish I could.
Both my girlfriend and her mom suffer from depression and, though it's been mostly under control the whole time I've known her, my gf admitted to me about having thoughts of self-harm throughout this whole mess. Her mother has threatened to kill herself a few times over the past weeks and would also drive off by herself for periods of between five minutes to two hours, refusing to say where she was going
Today her mom is finally seeing another therapist, but I don't know if it's really going to help anything, though I hope it does. It's just a big mess and I don't even know what I can do anymore. It feels totally out of my hands.
A good combination for you should make you feel more emotionally stable while still feeling normal feelings and feeling like yourself. If anything makes you feel physically sick (headaches, dizziness, nausea, etc), emotionally numb, or wildly mood swingy, you need to talk to the doc about it. Don't wait to see if it gets better unless you talk to the doctor and the doctor says there is an adjustment period. There are loads of meds to tweak brain chemistry, and tey won't all work well for everyone. Just make sure you have a doctor who will listen to you and adjust your meds when needed; you need someone who treats the patient instead of trying to fit the patient into a pre-existing box.
Less than a week into the new school year and everything is going awesome. I'm more creative and productive than I've been in years. This week alone I've accomplished the following:
1) Finally feel like I'm operating at full cognitive capacity
2) Working on PhD and research topics
3) Started developing a long term business plan to accompany my MBA
4) Hanging out with friends every night
5) Working on developing a regular workout plan to lose the rest of this weight.
6) Pretty much stopped drinking more than one drink daily.
Doing so good!
I started smoking again, though. I'm not sure if it's due to compensating for one unusable substance with another, or what, but if I start weightlifting and cycling, I'm going to have to promptly quit that, as well.
I have to say, thanks again for telling me about your experience with pills. And thank you, for talking to me. I feel happier when I know I'm not alone in doing these things for the first time.
Also, here's a relevant song.
Anyways, I entered a bit of a depressive phase since I had that breakup last week. It was fairly textbook - no appetite, no motivation, not going outside, etc. I've been getting better over the last few days due to a diet of G Gundam and Initial D as well as excitement at the fall semester starting, so that's nice.
Then, round three.